As Thanksgiving quickly approached this year I was hit hard with regret. Being a twin is the most frustrating, yet amazing thing. I can’t think of anyone better to share literally everything with than my twin. I regret some hurtful things I’ve said and actions I didn’t take. It’s not like he’s gone forever or anything, he’s just across the country, stop whining…
Standing on the steps at a small church in Davison, I watched my brother get married. I honestly don’t remember much about that day other than the fact that I was thinking about how messed up it was that he was getting married before me. I had been with Chelsey for 5 years by this time and engaged for a year. He then turned around bought a new truck and took off to serve his country… my first thought wasn’t, “I’m going to miss him” or “man nice truck” or even “I’m proud of you”. My first thought was pure hatred, I had been with Chelsey for 5 years and we were supposed to be the first ones married, first ones with kids and first ones with careers and happily ever after… You see, that’s the thing about being a twin. Competition is literally everywhere, everyone competes but it’s worse with twins because we are born competing for attention. I can’t remember who did it but one of us had soap in his eyes and was being tended to by Dad so then the other had to soap in his eyes so he could be tended to as well. After 27 years of twinning I miss the moments we spent together growing up planning tricks, stunts, or shenanigans, and hate the competitive nature we’ve had forever.
At some point growing up isn’t fun anymore, I remember talking to Jon and he had said he didn’t have time to come hang out. He was only home for a couple days and didn’t have time for me…? I was livid and asked, “Man, what about the twin thing?” His response has cut me to this day, “We aren’t kids anymore.” He said and then hung up the phone. The worst part about it is, we’d talk sparingly over the next year and half and he couldn’t make it home to my wedding. I thought that my anger had ruined it and that one of the best moments of my life my brother wasn’t next to me because I got mad about “hanging out”. Sometimes it’s necessary to hurt… Looking back, I realize he was just busy with Airforce things and seriously couldn’t make it. I have had 5 life changing moments, the top 2 he wasn’t there with me, the rest he was right there and mostly they were his fault.
I don’t want you think we hate each other or have a beef or anything…
My brother is my best friend and has been for my entire life. We shared everything from bedrooms, birthdays, toys, socks, and even underwear when we were younger. If I am having a crisis I call and he talks me off the ledge and tells me to stop being stupid. He is the one I look to and often model my next move off of. He has made many mistakes and so have I but hardly ever have we made the same mistake. I love you brother and I miss you.
1nspired 